Education

UPDATE: Because six years have passed since this post was first written, I will put a few updates throughout the post. Eight of our nine children are married and, as of 2024, we have 23 grandchildren!

This post is written in response to those who have asked me to share more about my nine children and their experiences. It is easy to present an unblemished presentation of our family on social media. And, to be honest, I would rather not air our family’s challenges and failures for all to see unless others can learn from what we share or be encouraged by realizing we aren’t all perfect! This article will share experiences that include college, military, discipleship programs, entrepreneurship, rebellion, divorce, and more. Below is the good, the bad and ugly.

Having nine children is challenging when it comes to figuring out how best to help each individual child pursue the path they should take.  We made a few mistakes.  One of these mistakes was to push our dreams upon our children, hoping they would live out the life we wanted for ourselves, but had not achieved.  At first we weren’t aware we were doing this and, unfortunately, our oldest suffered from this.  We did prayerfully consider options and choices, but who knows if our hearts were always pure and our motives were right?  It ain’t easy being a parent.  We were also more legalistic with our older children (although we were not as legalistic as some), yet I think we found a balance (eventually) between guiding our children versus giving them total freedom in all things or micro-managing their lives. Letting that leash out a little-at-a-time, until the child is able to handle his/her independence is the goal. That looks different for each child.

Here is a brief summary of each child, followed by a more detailed description of their journey.

#1 One year of college, marriage, missionary in Brasil, returned to TN, full time mother of 3 (whom she homeschools), working on a patent and marketing plan for a product. Their oldest is headed to Moody College in the fall as a first time freshman!

#2 Spent two summers with Keynote ministry (performing in a band), one year in a women’s discipleship program, marriage, full time mother of 4 (whom she homeschools). Stacey continues to homeschool while being a fitness instructor with over 850,000 Instagram followers. You can find her at FitnessMomness. 

#3 Left home at 18 without our blessing.  Had a few rough years making poor choices.  Has received numerous certifications, but no college classes.  Self-employed in construction and makes knives from scratch. Hard worker, responsible husband and father. Married with 2 boys and a daughter. Amazing builder and a great cook, often hosting parties at their place on the lake. 

#4 Joined the army right after high school. Has been an entrepreneur since age 14.  Finished his degree at FSU. Is a real estate agent who sells, flips, and rents properties.  Co-owns an Engineering firm.  Married and is a father of 6 who are homeschooled. He built a house on acreage where they have lots of room to raise animals, ride four wheelers, work on projects, and host family reunions. 

#5 Attended two gap year programs, Impact 360 and Summit semester.  He finished his degree as a husband and father of 2.  He taught worldview classes while still in high school and took part in numerous opportunities while in high school (he’s the first child we did not allow to have a steady job in high school).  He staffed at three camps:  Camp Charis, Worldview Academy, and Summit.  He’s a natural speaker and a gifted teacher.  He’s self employed now as a consultant and speaker, and with around 250,000 followers is becoming quite well known on TikTok as the Happy Urbanist. He and his wife are foster parents and, this past year, they have fostered cats and dogs, in addition to children. In 2023 they lived in Europe for 9 months, in a different country each month, while working remotely and homeschooling their two children. 

#6 Took part in two video internships after high school.  Staffed at Summit in Colorado where she met her husband. She and her husband were full time videographers when they purchased their first Airbnb. They were voted “Best Videographers” in Colorado Springs in 2016. Since then they sold the Airbnb, moved to Charleston, SC, and invested in a laundry mat so they can spend more time with their 4 children who they homeschool. She and her husband are foster parents, having a heart for children without a home. 

#7 Attended Bryan College, mostly because he loves to play baseball and college allowed him to continue playing.  He graduated and moved back to Florida where he met his wife and they have one daughter so far. He is the owner of a junk removal business, which allows him to be with the baby on the days his wife has to go into the office. 

#8 Spent her senior year at a public school (taking 3 math classes and maintaining a 4.0 GPA) and went on to nursing school. She has worked for several midwives helping to deliver babies, and lived in Uganda during Covid. After becoming close to a sweet Ugandan family who had a vision to open a school in an area where there was no school, she helped them fund and build the Ebenezer School. She loves to travel and has been to many national parks, Iceland, Europe, Central America, and Indonesia, with plans to continue traveling as she uses the non-profit she started (Start the Ripple) to help meet needs in third world countries. 

#9 He was attending Bryan College with a double major when he took a break to get married. Torn between his love of learning and his creative artistic side, he’s currently self-employed working in construction, welding, and designing products that he makes with his own hands. He and his wife have exciting plans for a new business they plan to start soon. They are also Foster parents. 

Now for the details, for those who want to know more.  I will start with the oldest and go down the list.

Information on the first born will be the longest post since, as the oldest, this one was our guinea pig (poor thing).   Our first child was born after seven years of marriage.  We desperately wanted a large family and for a while it looked like it would never happen.  By the time our daughter was born we were so ready to be parents.  She was the first grandchild on my side of the family and she immediately melted the hearts of aunts, uncles, and grandparents.  She has not just one, but two entire photo albums (don’t even bring up the 9^th child and his photos).  We were determined she would be the brightest and she cooperated with our plans by memorizing over 50 Bible verses by the time she was 4 years old.  As a child, I always wanted to take gymnastic classes, but was not allowed.  So what did we do? We enrolled our daughter in gymnastics at a very young age.  At age five, a coach saw that she could do a press  and suggested she join a competitive team.  For years gymnastics was a part of her life.  She went to many practices each week and to many competitions over the years.

She loved the Lord and she would line up her stuffed animals and preach to them.  She was active, fun, and obedient.  She was a joy to raise.  What I didn’t learn about my daughter until years later was that she and I are quite different in our make-up.  She’s a perceiver and I am obtuse.  She sees life as black or white, with little gray.  Because of this she demanded perfection of herself and never felt adequate.  It wasn’t until I had her take the test in the book Discovering Your Children’s Gifts that I realized what made her so different than myself.  All of my friends loved this child and would have been thrilled to have her marry their sons.  She had a rather small number of close friends and that was due to the fact that she was as demanding of her friends to be righteous as she was of herself, and that limited her friendships.  The friends she did have were great friends and they were loyal to each other.  In high school she played volleyball and basketball with teams at a local Christian school that allowed homeschoolers to join their teams.  She played quite well (it was always all or nothing) and she received an invitation from Bryan College and Tennessee Temple (both in TN while we lived in FL) to try out for basketball scholarships.  Don and I were ecstatic.  We had gone to a Bible college and loved our years there, but that college was defunct so we were hoping she would attend a sound Christian college.  We assumed, at this time, that every child should go to college.  Those thoughts changed later.  She tried out for both teams and was offered a scholarship from each school.  By this time, she had heard Jeff Myers speak multiple times (he was a professor at Bryan College at this time) and she had attended Summit at Bryan College. We decided this was the best choice for her.  She was not as convinced.  She wanted to go to Word of Life for a year, but that did not come with a scholarship and we felt that the Lord was directing her path by what we could afford so Bryan was the choice. Looking back I wonder if we limited her choices by our lack of faith.  Who knows?  We were not willing to go into debt so we did not really give Word of Life serious consideration.

Another regret is not preparing her for college tests.  We homeschooled co-op style so until she entered college she had never taken an exam until she took the SAT and then the ACT.  She is a smart child, but we did not prepare her well for those exams and she was embarrassed by her score. I did not put much emphasis on these test because I felt like they are not good indicators of whether a student will succeed in college, or not. Once I finally  realized (it took years) the importance of preparing our students for these tests I made changes accordingly. I still do not think they are good indicators of how well a student will do in college, but I have to acknowledge that it is important to jump through certain hoops, whether you like it or not. 

We moved our family from Florida to Tennessee so that she could live at home.  This was partly selfish on our part.  Having never lived outside of Florida, coupled with the fact that the cost of living in Dayton was so low that we could live there for about the cost of room and board for our daughter, we decided to live in Tennessee. Moving to the mountains was an exciting adventure. That first year of college was difficult for this daughter for many reasons.  As the oldest, we put a lot of responsibility on her (probably too much).  She was contributing financially to the family in addition to being a full time student and a sister to 8 younger siblings.  I had an emergency hysterectomy that year and she and my next oldest daughter helped me recuperate afterwards while my husband was in Florida working.   She was a great student and she enjoyed her classes.  That year she met her future husband and she exchanged her college degree for her MRS.  After marriage she and her husband joined Wycliffe as missionaries (her husband was raised in Brasil where his parents were missionaries for more than 40 years) and moved to Brasil.  They have since have moved back to Tennessee and they have 3 children whom they are homeschooling.  She has had several business over the years and right now she is in the process of patenting and marketing a product idea.  If there were a homeschool graduate who could write a blog entitled, “What My Parents Did Wrong,” it would be our oldest.  But, fortunately, she’s understanding and forgiving.

Our second born is married and lives in Texas with her husband and their 4 boys whom she homeschools.  She, too, was a competitive gymnast and she played basketball and volleyball in high school.  When we moved to Tennessee she lost all opportunities to play sports as a homeschooled student and she was devastated.  She begged us to let her go to high school her senior year.  We began the process, but had our doubts that this was a good decision.  The night before the final paperwork was due, my husband and I both realized we should not proceed with this plan.  We were about to drop the news on her, when our oldest daughter called her sister and said, “You can’t go to high school this year.  It’s our last year to spend time together before I get married. Don’t do it.”  So, before we had to tell her that we had changed our minds, she informed us she wanted to be homeschooled that year.  This part of the story is a wonderful example of how the Lord works in the lives of our children to direct their paths.

No longer able to play the sports she loved, she picked up her guitar and began writing music.  She wrote beautiful songs and we love hearing her sing.  She found out about Keynote, a ministry with CRU, and traveled with a band performing all over the United States the next two summers.  By this time we were not pushing college like we had with our oldest.  On one of her trips with the band the students were sharing where they were going to college and many shared that their parents insisted they attend college, taking out loans to pay tuition.  When our daughter shared that she wasn’t planning on going to college and that we were supportive of that decision the students were both surprised and a little envious.  We were more than content keeping her at home when she wasn’t traveling with the bands.  She began looking at different programs and options and came across a one year women’s biblical discipleship program in Denton, Texas.  When she shared their information with me I noticed that they only accepted college graduates. Calling the lady in charge, I asked if they would consider allowing our daughter to be a part of the program even though she was not a college graduate and they said they would consider that, but that they wanted to interview her in person.  We were in Florida, this was in Texas.  We looked at her band traveling schedule to see if the band was going anywhere near Denton, Texas.  Not only was the band going to Denton, but they were performing at the church where this program takes place (Denton Bible Church).  She was interviewed and accepted into the program.

Here is another regret we have.  In our zeal to be great parents we decided that rather than letting this daughter live with other women in this program, with total freedom, we would have her live with a Christian family.  We thought she would become like a member of the family and have surrogate parents.  The family was quite nice, and they rented our daughter a room in their home.  Unfortunately, and this is not their fault, our daughter was mostly left to herself so now, outside of the classes and work, she was alone in a room.  This was difficult for her.  Having come from a family with 9 children, she was rarely alone.  Having some alone time is nice, but being alone all the time is not-so-nice.  If we could go back we would have allowed her to live with the other girls in the program.  She met her husband while in Texas and, as mentioned above, they now live in Texas and homeschool their boys.  She has worked several times at jobs where her children could be with her and she has worked from home as well.  Right now she’s homeschooling her four boys and is a fitness instructor, running her own business and bringing in an impressive income while doing what she loves. 

Our oldest son is strong willed, independent, yet also sensitive and kind.  During high school he worked at a steady job, but he also attended co-op.  One day his work schedule changed and, instead of having to work that day, he was now available to attend co-op.  By the way, we eventually quit allowing our high school students to have steady jobs and I wrote about that here.  He informed us he was not going to co-op, but was going to hang out with his friends.  We told him that while he was living in our home, he would do what we asked.  He had just turned 18 and so he packed up and moved out.  The first night he slept in his car and then he found a bedroom to rent in a trailer with a senior citizen.  The next few years (maybe more than a few) were filled with concern, worry, and anguish.  Our son became friends with less-than-wonderful young men and begin making choices that were not wise.  He got into trouble numerous times and, except for the grace of God, could easily have been killed or sent to prison.  He did spend time in jail and that was quite hard on this mama. During these rough years we loved him unconditionally and always welcomed him home.

He heard me repeat an H. G. Wells quote to him more times than I can remember.  The quote is this, “If there is no god, nothing matters.  If there is a God, nothing else matters.”  By this time our son was not happy with God.  He did not want conviction for his actions, and he wanted God to be Santa Claus, granting his every wish.  Fortunately, he made it through these years and is now in a good place.  His first marriage produced a son, but that marriage dissolved.  His second marriage did not even last a year.  He’s happily married now to a wonderful gal and they just have a son and a daughter.  Our son has always been a very hard worker.  He is not afraid to try anything, he’s quite skilled in all things construction and he makes knives from scratch.  For a few years he was probably the highest paid sibling, working in the oil industry in Colorado.  He and his wife moved back to the south so he quit that job and he now owns his own construction company (still making knives on the side).  Although he never has taken accredited college classes, he has taken numerous courses to become certified in the industries in which he has been employed.  He is quick to see opportunities and will do what it takes to take part in those opportunities.  He won the Florida alligator lottery and has caught and killed one ten foot gator (and he has one more chance for a second gator).  He is our family comedienne and during reunions he keeps us all in stitches.  He is also quite the cook.

Next is son number two (4^th child).  This son is the entrepreneur in the family. Actually, they are all entrepreneurs, but this son has dabbled in the widest variety of experiences. During high school he was flipping cars, trailers, and scooters before he could drive.  His construction experience is extensive and impressive and he could practically rebuild an engine in a car while still in high school.  He loved all things mechanical and disdained books.  He attended co-op (because he had to), but loved working with his hands.  It wasn’t until he became involved in Civil Air Patrol that he cared about books.  Because he wanted to advance in rank, he began studying like crazy.  The Civil Air Patrol loved having him involved because we allowed him to go out on search and rescue missions at all times of the day and night.  After all, he could catch up on sleep and school work later!  (Never miss out on opportunities simply because you are concerned that school work will be neglected.  Opportunities often provide a much richer learning experience than any text book could provide.)  When four hurricanes hit Florida one year he was the commander of his unit and so he was asked to go out with the Governor’s Task Force to assess damage.  He saw that the guard could do so much more than he was allowed to do, and so he asked to join the army.

Before the army we took him to an entrepreneur conference in N. Alabama.  Rhea Perry put on this conference.  At first he was not real happy with us because the conference took place during the weekend of his 16^th birthday and he had to miss a Civil Air Patrol event and a youth group event.  However, as soon as the speakers began speaking, he was excited and became convinced that this event was well worth his time.  Later, he joined the army and began training in Special Forces.  He knew how to iron, sew and polish boots so he was often paid by the other soldiers to take on those tasks for them.  He jumped out of a plane and broke his foot. He is not one to sit around idle, so during his recuperation he studied to become a real estate agent in Florida and when he was allowed to return home one weekend he took, and passed, the test and became an agent. (He also took it upon himself to cut off his cast and he left it laying on my bed.  Crazy boy.)  He bought his first house while in the army for next-to-nothing and began renting it out.  He would find items on the side of the road and post them on Craigslist, not for money, but in exchange for fast food meals or to trade for other items.  His stories kept us spellbound and in stitches.  When he got out of the army, he finished his education at FSU.  He pursued a degree because he knew he would be better respected (silly, but true) and the army paid for it.  Now he’s married and a father of six who continues to buy, flip, sell and rent real estate.  He, too, has won the Florida gator lottery and one Christmas his wife and his siblings received a gator wallet, belt, or purse.  He co-owns an Engineering firm and dabbles in many different businesses.  I love when he visits because he likes to stay busy.  At Easter one year, he changed out one of my toilets and took all the men present (including my 2 youngest sons) in the bathroom with him to show them how it is done.  One Labor Day weekend he came up for a wedding nearby, and put in a sink and cabinet in my basement Airbnb. He is generous as is evidenced by his quick response to anyone in need. He always enjoyed his athletic experiences and his kiddos are following in his footsteps.

Son number three (5^th child) is the middle of nine. Interesting side note, of my 9 children, the middle 3 are left handed. He has always loved learning and teaching.  During high school he took part in many activities.  He spent six weeks in Papua New Guinea while in high school.  He attended two gap year programs after high school. The first is Impact 360, developed by Chic fil A family members, located in Pine Mountain, Georgia.  At this program he read great books, listened to many amazing speakers, took part in the Chic fil A leadership program, and flew to store openings on the corporate jet with Dan Cathy and went to Europe.  He received college credit from Union University while at Impact 360.  After that he attended the Summit Semester gap program in Colorado.  He  attended Summit Leadership Camps numerous times and staffed for them as well.  He taught worldview classes while still in high school, so attending this program made sense.  He met his wife while in Colorado and they live in Chattanooga with their 2 children, whom they homeschool.  He finished his degree while married with children.  It was been a slow process due to births of babies and the death of his mother-in-law, after she was diagnosed with cancer fairly. At one time I suggested he CLEP out of classes in order to finish sooner (and affordably) but he loves learning and he loves sitting under professors, so he did not want to take that route.  Unfortunately, he soon learned that not all professors are great teachers and some classes are more laborious than they are educational or entertaining.  More regrets come along with this son’s story.  He had such an amazing portfolio that I knew colleges would want him to apply, and they did!  Unfortunately his top choices were expensive colleges and their largest scholarships were tied to college exam scores.  At this time I was convinced of the value of high test scores.  Unfortunately, this hurt him.  His scores were okay, but they were not high enough to earn the large scholarships at his preferred colleges, so his choices were limited.  Had I been aware of the importance of high scores I would have encouraged him to take an entire semester preparing for the college entrance exams in order to increase the score so he could earn larger scholarships. Nevertheless, he did earn his degree and after working in a variety of business, he is self-employed as a consultant and speaker. 

Next is another daughter (child #6).  This daughter wanted to be a videographer and photographer after high school, but she told me she wanted to go to college.  When I asked her why, the best response she could give was that her friends were all in college.  When we visited local schools and found out how limited the classes in videography and photography were, coupled with what the classes would cost, she was quick to agree that an internship might be better.  After asking our local homeschool friends if they could recommend any local Christian videographers, I was referred to two different companies.  Both hired my daughter.  They taught different types of videography which was great for my daughter.  One man did not pay my daughter in the beginning and, in fact, may have taken slight advantage of her having her clean his

garage and babysit his daughter.  However, once he had trained her enough to be helpful to him he did begin paying her.  She learned a lot and does not regret this internship.  The other company began paying her $10 an hour immediately so not only was she learning, she was earning money.  She staffed at Summit in Colorado one summer and was on the video team.  She met her husband while there and once they were married he joined her in the videography business and, in 2016, they received the best videographer award in Colorado Springs.  They purchased a house that they used as a short term rental and then, several years later, sold it and used the profits to move to Charleston, South Carolina, where they purchased a home and a laundromat. The laundromat allows dad to be home often and, although they still make videos, they have scaled that way down so they can have more time with family. They are foster parents and they homeschool their four children.

Next is the fourth son (7^th child) who graduated from Bryan College several years ago.  When he was in high school we were living back in Florida.  After discovering that there is a substantial scholarship offered to students who graduate from high school while living Rhea County, we decided to move back to Tennessee with this son for his senior year.  In addition, if a student has lived in Tennessee for a year or more, then he can qualify for the HOPE scholarship which provides even more money for college.  Between the county scholarship and the HOPE grant, most of his tuition at Bryan would be covered.  Also, by this time homeschoolers could now play sports with the public schools in Tennessee (finally) so he could continue playing baseball with the local high school team.  He played baseball and we spent his senior year studying for the college exams because the scholarships he needed were tied to test scores. (It took me a while, but I finally admitted that test scores are key to making college affordable in certain situations.) He was one point short of the score he needed at the end of his senior year so, upon the suggestion of a counselor at Bryan College, I kept him in high school one more semester and he spent most of his time taking dual enrolled classes at Bryan while studying to increase his score on the test.  He made the score he needed and began full time at Bryan mid-year. His only passion, at this time, was baseball so he was willing to go to college since it meant he could continue playing ball.  The academic degree was a bonus. After graduation he moved back to Florida, met his wife and he now runs a business that allows flexible hours so he can stay home with the baby when his wife has to go into the office. 

Our fourth daughter (child #8) is next.  She wanted to attend public school her senior year for many reasons, including feeling inadequate as a homeschooled student and because many of her friends had done this and had great experiences.  Although I did not think it was the best choice (it meant 3 hours a day on a bus), I knew if a child could handle this, it would be this daughter.  When I first turned in her transcript I gave her a 3.85 GPA.  When she argued that she should have a 4.0 I realized she was right, so I called the counselor and sheepishly asked her to throw away that transcript and I replaced it with a transcript showing a 4.0 GPA.  The school required this daughter to take 3 math classes in order to graduate that year so she took Geometry, Algebra II, and Physics.  By the second week in physics, I could no longer help her study unless she provided me with an answer key.  (My hat is off to physic majors.)  She graduated with a 4.0 and attended Bryan College for one year. Wanting to pursue a nursing degree (which Bryan College did not have at that time), she returned to Florida and became a nurse. She has worked with several mid-wives helping to deliver babies and has travelled the world. After helping a family in Uganda build a school, she recently started a  non-profit called Start the Ripple so she can continue to help raise funds for projects in third world countries. 

Let’s go back to this last daughter’s high school experience for a minute.  The teachers and the boys befriended her.  The girls, on the other hand, were very stand-offish to her.  The geometry teacher offered candy to students who caught his mistakes and she received a lot of free candy.  She was shocked (small country town) that students had chew in their pockets and some were already parents.  The students were surprised to found out how little worldly experience my daughter had.  They were shocked to hear that she had never been drunk.  Then they asked about her driving record and couldn’t believe she had never had a ticket.  (The education she received at public school this year was far more than academic.)  When she would complain, I would say, “I have a solution…” and she would say, “I don’t want a solution, I want empathy.”  To be honest, it was a hard year for both of us.

During  one summer when she was nursing school, between semesters, was in a near fatal car wreck in Amarillo, Texas. She was cut out of her small car that was t-boned by a semi and life flighted to a hospital. My husband and I went out immediately as did 7 of our children (the oldest couldn’t make it).  She was in ICU for a week, followed by a week in a regular room after surgery.  Her recuperation was amazing and all of her injuries  eventually healed (although she still has glass in her left arm).  Meanwhile, she struggled to keep up with school, but she did it!  Most students probably would not even try after going through all she had been through right before the fall semester began, but she’s a fighter.  Of my four girls, she will be the first (and perhaps the only) daughter to graduate college.

Bringing up the end of the line is son #5 who attended Bryan College for two years.  This son is a jack-of-all trades and a master of several.  In addition to working with his hands, he loves to learn and he is a natural teacher.  He is also a deep thinker and conversations with him can last for hours.  He wants to double major in philosophy, and psychology.  He is skilled in many aspects of construction, and wants to be a master electrician.

He is also well trained in lawn maintenance. He has also taught himself to play guitar and piano and his written more than a few songs (which we love and want him to record).  His writing skill is quite impressive and he’s begun writing two books.  There are not enough hours in the day for this boy. Anytime I mention a project I need done, he is on it.  One day he mowed my grass, changed out 3 outside lights to motion sensor lights, added 4 new outdoor outlets for my Airbnb and took care of a few smaller projects too. He is one of the favorites of all of the nieces and nephews because he is willing to be chased, caught, and pummeled for hours on end. Ben is now married and he and his would like to have multiple streams of passive income so they can continue to Foster, be free to travel, continue learning, and take advantage of programs when available. 

As you can see, each child is different and each has enjoyed a variety of different experiences.  Most of my children worked at a camp beginning at age 12.  Most attended TeenPact, Wordview Academy and Summit Ministries Leadership Camps. Many dual enrolled.  Many have worked in political campaigns. Most have enjoyed sports and most own their own businesses.  Over the years, they participated in many ministry and community projects.  All of the married children own their own homes and several own rental properties.

One of the best things I can say about my children is that they love each other and they love children.  When the college kids had a break, what did they do?  They visited siblings.  When a new baby is born into the family (23 grands so far) they fight to be the first one to hold the baby.  When a need in the family is shared, they all chip in. One time we heard that a son, out-of-state, was out of money and had his phone cut off.  This was not accurate information, but before we found that out, many had deposited funds into their brother’s account, including one son who was only about 14 at the time, and he donated $100 to his brother.  My kiddos are quite generous and when needs arise, they respond.  They hold their money loosely.  I could not be more proud of them and, this is in spite of our mistakes.  So, take heart.  Even if you do make mistakes (and you will), God can lead and guide our children to the place they should be in spite of us!  The road may be bumpy and it may take twists and turns that are hard to traverse, but it will be worth it in the end.  So, hang in there!  Pray for your children and help them discover their gifts and talents so that they will end up being blessed and being a blessing to others.